I went. I saw. I left early.
I predicted in my previous post that there would be a few very embarrassing photos making the rounds after the work Christmas Party. However, I am not referring to snapshots of drunken flirtations, lewd behaviour, shocking facial expressions or any other cringe-worthy moments caught permanently on camera. I’m instead referring to those occasional photos I see of myself. What makes it worse, is that in this day and age, they’ll be available for all the world to see through the easy accessibility of social networking sites. Yay…..Can you feel the enthusiasm?
Normally, I wouldn’t mind the odd photo if I know it’s being taken. I’ve resigned myself to what I look like and can’t argue with hard photographic evidence. It’s that sneaky unexpected flash that makes you look like a deer caught in the headlights. In my case, it makes me look like the deer that ate all the other deer…..caught in the headlights!
So, to avoid all of the above, I went to the Christmas Party this year and only stayed for about an hour. I had two very civilised glasses of wine, a bit of casual conversation and made the rounds. Then I decided to head home confidant that my image was not caught on camera!
Honestly though, I also left early because I felt self-conscious. There I was, surrounded by a sea of beautiful people and through nobody’s fault but my own, I let myself be taken in by all these horrible, negative feelings. I allowed myself to give in to that inner voice of mine that keeps telling me that I’m not pretty, not interesting, not funny and generally not anybody worth knowing. I try hard every day not to listen to it, but mostly I fail. Tomorrow morning I’m going to get up and try again.
Unlike Cinderella, I’m hoping to make it past the stroke of midnight for next year’s Christmas Party and not have to worry about being stranded with a big fat pumpkin and seven white mice!