A few of my friends have recently asked me why I haven’t posted any blogs in a while. I don’t really have a simple explanation….
At first, I didn’t add a post because I hadn’t done anything very exciting or worth mentioning and I didn’t want to just write for the sake of writing something. A couple of days passed and still nothing happened. The next part is a bit more difficult to explain. I went through a bit of a rough patch where I was feeling really down, not just about myself, but everything. I got stuck in a really dark place for a little while and it affected every aspect of my daily life. I just felt low and miserable all the time. I hardly did any exercise which most certainly did not help my mood. I used any excuse to just sit at home, eat and basically wallow in my own self-pity.
I can’t even give a reason as to my feeling so bad, because I don’t even know what caused it to begin with or what set it off (so to speak…). I do suspect it had something to do with allowing others to make me feel badly about things that I shouldn’t even have batted an eyelid at. I always do that though….allow others to dictate my mood. I think the root of many of my issues is my constant need for approval from other people. I determine my self-worth through their opinions of me. Now, I do understand the idiocy of that kind of logic, but when you’ve done it most of your life, I can be really difficult to change those perspectives some times.
I got some great advice from the boyfriend…..”You are accountable for your own actions. No those of others.” I’m the only person that can guide my own destiny. Who cares what anyone else thinks of me? As long as I’m at peace with my life and the decisions I make, nobody else’s opinion should matter. Well, it’s all much easier said than done and this is something I have to repeat to myself every single day. I think it’s helping because I’m feeling much better than I did 2 weeks ago. I suppose I just didn’t want to write any blogging whilst being in that frame of mind. It really would not have been constructive blogging. More ranting than anything else…
But then I also have to ask myself, is that not the point of having a blog? To get all my thoughts and feelings out there, to put it in black and white, instead of holding on to it all…..But do my dear readers really want to hear about all my issues?
After that long sob story, I basically just wanted to say sorry for neglecting my blog and that I’m back. Back with a vengeance. So, keep those inboxes clear for a lot of future posts people! 🙂