Now or Never.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as who you become by achieving them.

– Henry David Thoreau

 

A few months ago I received news that absolutely floored me. I’m not quite ready to go into it just yet, but it concerned someone very close to me and has given me the jolt I needed. It’s such a shame that it takes something really awful to happen to make you realise you need to make serious changes in your life.

I’ve said this so many times before that even I am sick of hearing it, but I am determined to make 2014 the year I lose the weight I want to.

I’m back at the gym, and will even be starting personal training sessions every second week (because I work for a charity and that is all I can afford…haha!). I’m taking additional steps to eat healthier and cut down on the booze. I want to become more of a ‘conscious eater’ and listen to what my body needs.

There were many more things I wanted to say in this post, but I think I’m going to leave it at that.

Thanks for reading (once again!).

2014 – The Blank Page.

Happy 2014 one and all…..I hope it’s been wonderful so far and that everyone celebrated in style!

(I’m not going to bore everyone with excuses for not writing for over 9 months, so let’s skip right over that. I want to start writing again and will be doing so for good in 2014)

I can honestly say that 2013 was exceptionally good to me. It started with redundancy and ended with a new job that I love, turning 30 and finally becoming a British citizen. Over the last 12 months, I have proved to myself that I can achieve so much if I just put my mind to it. Without a doubt, I was terrified of failing at so much and I have always been my biggest critic but this year I’ve shown that I am worth something.

The one thing I was unable to achieve and failed at miserably in 2013 was losing weight. There are a million reasons why and I only have myself to blame for not achieving what I wanted to. I want this year to be different – I’ve shown myself that I can achieve things if I really want to, so why not this?

Usually I don’t really believe in setting resolutions because nobody ever sticks to them anyway. However, I want this year to be different, so I’ve given it some thought and have come up with a small handful of things I’d like to change…

1. Lose 5 stone
I know this sounds pretty general, but this is what I need to lose and I will do what I can to achieve this. I’ve registered with the gym and will be doing more outdoor activities to this end. Also, I am cutting out all alcohol for the whole of January and if anyone knows me, they know how hard that’ll be!

2. Eat healthier
I want to start shopping more intelligently which means more fresh vegetables and knowing where my food comes from. Included in this is more innovative cooking and being less wasteful. You are what you eat, right?

3. Learn more
Whether that is to help me in my job, or generally enriching my personal life. I’m not a stupid person, and want to be more knowledgeable. Whatever I can do to better that, I will!

4. Technology time-outs
It shocks me when I start thinking about the time I spend in front of the television, on my phone or on a computer. There is so much I can do with all that time, so 3 days a week I won’t be switching on the telly at all and will be applying myself in some other way – whether that’s painting, reading a book, going for a walk or anything else. As long as it doesn’t involve anything technological!

5. Say ‘Yes’ more often
I want to do more and live more – that involves saying yes, when sometimes I don’t want to. Perhaps it’s turning thirty that’s got my mind reeling a little, but the years seem to be going by a lot faster the older you get. I don’t want to blink and find that I’ve missed so many great things in my life if only I’d said yes!

Well, that’s it – keeping it simple and achievable. As promised, I’ll be blogging a lot more often this year, so if you’d like…..do keep reading.

Here’s to 2014 being awesome!

xxx

The End of an Era!

This is my 100th blog post which makes it quite appropriate, as this weekend marked the end of my working career at Channel 4 after 7 years…….**sigh**

I’m not going to go on and on about my time there, because it truly has been amazing. Not just the work itself, but mainly the incredible people I got to meet every single day. It’s those people who’ve made my job fun every day (except for the days I got up on the wrong side of the bed, and on those days not even Ryan Gosling sans-shirt would’ve made me crack a smile!), but you know all know what I mean! ūüėČ

I take away awesome experiences and memories, as well as really good friends. Those kind of bonds and friendships don’t just fall by the wayside when you decide to leave. Many people can attest to the flood-gates opening on my last few hours behind that Reception desk and they were genuine tears. All I can say is thank you to everyone that made my time there so amazing…..I will never forget it!

It is with a heavy heart that I leave Channel 4, but I know amazing new adventures await and I’m looking forward to tackling my future adventures…..of which I will most definitely keep you all posted!

I’ll leave you with a few of the better (if I can really call it that) pics of my Leaving Do…..

XXX

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Soul-Searching….or something like it!

As you all may know, I decided to take redundancy about 2 months ago. It was a massive decision for me, but one I’m told by many, will be the best decision of my life. I’m not quite sure about all that yet, but I feel as if I’m in a¬†constant flow between feeling really positive about the move, and being on the verge on a panic attack!

For example, I was on the 507 bus making my way to work, when I almost burst into tears….in front of a bus load of grumpy morning commuters! Great, just great.¬†I had this sudden flash of panic and anxiety which I couldn’t shake. What job will I be doing soon? Will anybody even give me a job? What am I really doing with my life? I’m almost 30 years old and I’ve not contributed to society one bit!

This could go on, but I felt really panic-stricken and am still having bouts of it now….a few weeks later. It might have something to do with the fact that I only have 2 more weeks left in my current job, then I’m jobless. It’s probably that, but I can’t be sure! ūüėČ

In the search for a new job, I’ve crossed paths with some very wise people, and the overwhelming piece of advice….What do you want? What do you really, really want?

And of course, that’s the easiest question in the world to answer. Everybody knows exactly what they want in life, right? WRONG! It’s an agonisingly¬†difficult question to answer. A question that requires many hours of soul-searching. Now, I’m not sure if I struck it lucky, but in a way, I was almost forced into answering the question by being faced with a few very, very difficult decisions.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve applied for – what seems like – a gazillion jobs. Mostly, I was met with the usual…“Thank you for your application. However,….” Blah, blah, blah! Everyone knows how the rest of that line goes. However, I have been offered a few jobs, and they were good jobs. But every single time, I had to ask myself: What do you REALLY want? Answering this has caused many a semi-nervous breakdown accompanied by heart palpitations, tears and countless supportive hugs from my boyfriend, quickly followed by a large glass of red wine!

Yes, I’ve turned down a few jobs. I’m fully aware of just home awful that sounds, especially in todays¬†economic climate. To some, I might even seem ungrateful. My justification? I have this amazing (and perhaps once in a lifetime opportunity…God knows, I’m not getting any younger!) to shape a career for myself. To bravely go out into the world and do what I really want to do with my life. Every time I made a decision about a job, I went with my gut feeling. And I have to say, so far in my life, that feeling has always served me well. I felt that if I took a job just for the sake of having a job, I would forever regret not just going all out to achieve my dream.

Well, what is this dream, you ask…..

I finally know. Without a shadow of doubt in my mind, I finally know what it is that I want to do. I’m want to work within the animal and environmental charity sector. I’m not quite sure which specific areas yet, but I’m willing to work hard and relentlessly to get where I want to be. I know the next year or two will be a lean year in the Davies/de Gouveia household, but we’re (and I include a very supportive boyfriend in that!) ready for it. Sometimes you have to sacrifice to achieve what you really want to, and that’s what I’m doing.

A very wise woman told me recently….”Once you know what you want, and I mean what you really, really want, you’ll always succeed at it. Do you know why? Because you’ll be passionate about it, and you’ll be happy no matter what.”

Well said.

Thanks for reading everyone & I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted!

xxxx

Back to Square One.

Things are pretty hectic at the moment. I feel like I’m juggling too many balls and I’m struggling. I hope this doesn’t sound like an excuse, but in my personal life, I can only focus on one thing at a time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s the truth.

I was recently made redundant, so at the moment, my entire universe revolves around finding a new job. And I only have a month and a half to make it happen! I’m excited, but scared at the same time and I feel guilty whenever I’m not actively job hunting. Even if I’ve had a really long day, come home and just sit in front of the telly watching a programme, I feel guilty for not sending out my CV. I know that I have to give myself a break, but I can’t.

It’s all I can focus on at the moment and everything else has just fallen by the wayside. And I mean everything! I haven’t bothered following and planning an eating regime, and instead have been stuffing my face with everything in sight out of stress. I haven’t been to gym in weeks, because I come home from work and have to send out job applications!

As a result, I’ve managed to put back a stone in weight! I kid you not…..a bloody stone! I am so disappointed with myself, especially because I know exactly what I did (or didn’t do) to get back in this position. I just feel like my main priority is finding a new job and I just have no time for anything else.

I’m stressed out and frustrated and can’t stop stuffing my face. Especially with Christmas approaching, it’s really hard not to tuck into mince pies, extra vino and chocolates!

I just feel like I’m back to square one and it’s a little frustrating. It’s really hard for me to get back on track sometimes, so I hope I get a job soon an get this back on the right track!

The Art of Laughing at Yourself.

Sometimes you’ve just got to look at the funny side of life and recognise that if you don’t join¬†others laughing (at your expense), you might just be taking yourself a little too seriously…..With that in mind, I thought I’d share a funny story with you guys today!

Yesterday morning I was leaving my house for work. I walk down the road to the bus stop that’s just around the corner, where I hop on the bus to the train station. Well, on this particular morning, I could see the bus coming from some way up the road and had to make a split decision….To run, or not to run. I ran.

Well,¬†I suppose you know where this is going…

I don’t know what happened, but half way down, I went flying. It all seemed to happen in slow motion too, and I even tried to self-correct before totally face-planting into the pavement, but alas, there was nothing I could do. Once my¬†chubby body decided on crash landing, there was really no stopping it. I fell and I fell really hard. So hard I think even my brain rattled around a little bit.¬†I went sprawling, and with all the (chubby) momentum behind it, I think I even rolled a little bit. Oh, what I sight I must have made! I had my backpack on, so some helpless turtle images are coming to mind.

At this point I could already hear people laughing, but I think what I did next was the best bit. I was determined to make that damn bus, so mid-roll, I got back up and kept running.¬†Dishevelled, covered in leaves and bleeding from both hands I kept running for the bus. Now, that’s dedication!

I knew that my fall must’ve been pretty entertaining for some, but I wasn’t¬†quite prepared for what was about to happen. Still running towards the bus stop, two construction workers in their van actually slowed down¬†until they were right beside me, one guy leaned out of the¬†passenger side window, pointed at¬†me and laughed so hard, I think he¬†even cried a little bit! I have never quite had that happen and I remember thinking that I’ve at least provided this random person with some entertainment to brighten up their day.

Well, after all of this I still made the bus. Barely, but I did and I was damn proud of myself! Although I did have to pick an awful lot of leaves and twigs from my coat and people were looking at me as if I was a bit of a weirdo, but that’s okay.

I suppose what I’m trying to say with this little story is that sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. Even if you do something¬†ridiculously embarrassing it doesn’t matter because you can’t go through life being all serious. Sometimes you’ve just got to accept that you’re the one that people will be pointing and laughing at and that’s okay. Let’s be honest, if you saw a chubby girl face-planting the pavement at high-speed, you’d be hard-pressed to not pee yourself laughing!

The End of Complacency….

So, I have some news…..

To cut a very long story short, we’ve had a major reshuffle at work, and I’ve decided to take redundancy. Eeeeek!! Super scary, but super exciting. I’ve worked in my current job for over 7 years and loved it, but it’s time to move on and put myself out there. Basically, I’m taking a giant leap out of my comfort zone and heading out into the great beyond….Basically, I’m terrified.

I know that I’ve made the right decision and I can’t even begin to tell you all how happy I am to make a new start. But every time I think about it, my belly does a very nervous flip and I’m reminded of the fact that I haven’t put myself out there for years and it really is a scary thought.

Now, I’ve said so many times that I¬†really struggle with self-confidence and¬†let’s face it – a general lack¬†of belief in myself. Well, this has to change, and it has to change fast. In the next few weeks/months I’m going to have to go for job interviews and really¬†sell myself. Strangely, I know I can do it. I’m scared, but it’s a good scared…..if that kind of thing exists!

Now, I know that having a hot and toned “bod” doesn’t magically give you confidence, but it does help. And as you know from my previous post, I haven’t been to the gym in ages and have only recently re-joined. So now, I have to really bust my ass and get some results. Not just for my health, and not just to help my confidence, but also to help me believe in myself and to know that when I set my mind to something, that I can really achieve it. To know that when I step into someone’s office for a job interview, that I can get through it and put forward my best side because I believe that all these things are not beyond my grasp.

I have been complacent for too long and I have made one promise after another to myself about what I want to achieve, and I have never delivered. Now, here’s the kick up the butt I’ve needed for so long. I’m effectively on the clock and time is ticking. Either I can or I can’t….

I know I sure as hell can and I’m going to prove to everyone and to myself that I can go out there, fight for what I really want and get it!

Reach for the stars and all that! ūüôā

xxx

picture courtesy of www.someecards.com