Now or Never.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as who you become by achieving them.

– Henry David Thoreau

 

A few months ago I received news that absolutely floored me. I’m not quite ready to go into it just yet, but it concerned someone very close to me and has given me the jolt I needed. It’s such a shame that it takes something really awful to happen to make you realise you need to make serious changes in your life.

I’ve said this so many times before that even I am sick of hearing it, but I am determined to make 2014 the year I lose the weight I want to.

I’m back at the gym, and will even be starting personal training sessions every second week (because I work for a charity and that is all I can afford…haha!). I’m taking additional steps to eat healthier and cut down on the booze. I want to become more of a ‘conscious eater’ and listen to what my body needs.

There were many more things I wanted to say in this post, but I think I’m going to leave it at that.

Thanks for reading (once again!).

One Year On…

A little over a year ago, I started this blog. It was both terrifying and exciting at the same time and it was also one of the best things I’ve ever done. I look back at how I was feeling at the time when I started this blog and I feel so different one year on…..

About this time last year, I wrote my first ever blog entry titled “Sending this into the void….”. It was written full of hope and trepidation for the journey that I was about to start. Trust me, it’s a very scary feeling sharing your most intimate and self-conscious thoughts with the www!ย I was terrified of the reaction I would get, but it seemed that I had nothing to be afraid of. You were all so supportive and understanding which made writing this blog so much easier. I don’t think I’d ever be able to properly convey my gratitude for that, but I want everyone reading this to know how much every click or comment means to me!

lynne2thin started with the following slogan….“365 days to a healthier, happier me” and I can honestly say that a year later, at least part of that is true. I had a wish for my 28th birthday, which was to go out dancing in a polka dot dress (hopefully a size 10 polka dot dress). Well, I didn’t have the dress this year, but I sure as hell went dancing…..twice!

I wanted to include a few photos of me one year ago…….I think what strikes me the most is although I’m smiling in these photos, you can see how uncomfortable and self-conscious I am.

This was me at my biggest.....Just over a Year Ago!

Me and a friend at my birthday party last year....2010!

With another friend on my birthday....2010!

Here are a few pics of me on my birthday this year…….What I love about it, is that you can really see that I’m more at ease with myself. Two friends took me out shopping for a new top to wear to my birthday party, so I felt really great, and it shows! ๐Ÿ™‚

My Birthday...2011! (And my awesome Hello Kitty gift bag)

Some of the dancing I was talking about....I didn't say it was pretty! ๐Ÿ˜‰

With the girls at my 1st Birthday Party this year.....I celebrated a lot! ๐Ÿ™‚

Although I haven’t exactly achieved all I wanted to this past year and I haven’t exactly reached my target weight, I wanted to share a few things with you that I have achieved…..

  • I smile/talk more. I know this sounds ridiculous and like something that everyone does, but that wasn’t the case with me. I’ve become more outgoing and am much more comfortable talking to everyone and anyone. I’ve also learned that a smile goes a long way, so I’m flashing my pearly whites as often as I can!
  • I’m more confident. In this regard, I do still have some way to go, but I’m feeling more comfortable with myself and in turn it affects my confidence. When I walk down the street, I can hold my head up high and it helps. Even this little bit of extra confidence I have, has had such an effect on my day-to-day life!
  • I’m starting to learn how to let go of the small things. This is still a work in progress, but I’m slowly but surely getting the hang of it. The things I think people judge me on, are in reality the things nobody cares about. It’s just my own self-consciousness speaking and making me feel insecure. Trying to let go of these little insecurities and every day issues is extremely liberating. It allows me to just be me, so take it or leave it!
  • Giving less thought to what others think about me. This is still something I struggle with every day and is sometimes much harder than other times. I’m a “pleaser”….meaning I want people to like me all the time. So, I constantly worry about what everyone thinks about me! Greg once gave me the following advice: “You are only in charge of your own actions, not those of others”. So, if I’m happy with the way I live my life, who cares what anyone else thinks?
  • Being more positive. This one I also struggle with a bit, but there really is something to be said for the power of positive thinking. I’ve found that if I tackle my day with a more positive attitude, I get more positivity out of the universe and I end up having a great day. Although some days are harder than others…
  • Getting healthier. The process is taking a little longer than I thought and it still doesn’t always come easy, but I’m getting there. In January, I couldn’t run for more than 3 minutes without having to walk. Now, I can easily run continuously for 45ย minutes and I enjoy it! Something I never thought possible. I’m also making healthier food choices, but I do still pig out occasionally ๐Ÿ™‚ In addition, I’ve joined Weight Watchers which has given me extra incentive to lose the pounds!
  • My relationship has improved. Let me just start by saying that Greg and I have never had a bad relationship, but my craziness and insane insecurities have, at times, put a strain on things. I’ve sometimes put words and thoughts in his mouth when they weren’t there, and that’s very unfair of me. The bottom line is, Greg is with me because he loves the person I am, not what I look like. If that was the case, I think he’d have left a while ago and I’d also never allow myself to be with someone whoย is that shallow.
  • I’m happier. That’s one of the true parts of my slogan….“365 days to a healthier, happier me”. Overall, I’ve become a more chilled out person. I’m trying to take one day at a time and be happy doing it. So far it’s kinda working! ๐Ÿ™‚

Well, that’s what I wanted to share with you all today. So although I didn’t end up wearing the polka dot dress I wanted to on my birthday, I’ve already come such a long way and I’m happy with that.

I’ve still got some way to go, so please stick around for another year (at least….Hehehee!). I’ll keep blogging, so I really hope you all keep reading…..

xxxx

9 Things for November….

After my meeting last night, I really feel invigorated and excited to be starting something new. I know there are a few changes I need to make, but I also don’t want to go completely overboard and propose too much and not do anything properly. So, I’ve had a bit of a think and I’ve come up with a couple of things I want to do & stick to in November. They are……..(drum roll!)

1. Attend WW Meetings every Monday

This will be one of my main priorities this month. I think it’s really important that I stick to this because I need to build up a routine and really get myself involved with this new approach and follow it through. I also like the pressure/accountability of getting weighed every Monday…..hopefully it’ll make me behave over the weekends! ๐Ÿ™‚

2. Plan Ahead!

By this, I mean that I need to plan out a weekly menu every week. On a Sunday, I need to sit down and plan a full menu & grocery list for the following week. Not only will this probably save us some money on the grocery bill, but without planning, this eating plan of mine just won’t work. If I don’t make plan 99% of my meals, I’ll just end up grabbing things on the go or making things that are easy and convenient and most probably not healthy. I seriously need to be more organised!

3. Hit that gym HARD!

It’s no use me eating super healthy but then doing no exercise. I have really fallen off the wagon in this regards, and haven’t been to the gym in ages. The (simple) secret to weight loss is: healthy eating + exercise = Skinnier Lynne. So, I’m hitting it this month and I’m hitting it hard!

4. Start doing Pilates

This is something I’ve wanted to try for a long time. I went to a class once and that was ages ago, but it just worked out too expensive, so I never went back. Turns out, my gym membership includes Pilates classes on a Saturday morning, so why not? It’ll be a great way to start my Saturday and besides….if I feel tired later, I can just have a snooze on the couch with my fat kitty! ๐Ÿ˜‰

5. Switch off the Telly!

This is a serious problem for me. I could quite honestly lie in front of the TV all day and just keep surfing from one channel to the next. The problem is that I just end up doing nothing. A day wasted! I’m not just talking about weekends, I do this during the week when I get home from work too. I could be so much more productive with my evenings if I just get off that damn couch!

6. Eat at the Dinner Table

I love doing this, but Greg & I just don’t do it often enough. We can actually have a civilised meal and have a great conversation instead of gulping down our food while staring at a TV screen. Definitely doing this more!

7. Less Wine!

Greg actually refers to me as “The Wine Fiend”. I kid you not. The sad fact of the matter is that it’s true. I would much rather give up chocolates and treats than my glass of red vino in the evening! There’s nothing wrong with the odd glass of wine here or there, but when you realise the amount of calories in a glass it starts to take on a bit of a different meaning. This might be one of the toughest to stick to, but I’m going to try. (Insert mental image of me crying over an unopened bottle of wine here please)

8. Paint more!

For those of you that don’t know….I paint. But not hardly as often as I’d like to. Most weekends, I have the best intentions, but that damn TV gets in the way (please see point #5). I’m quite a creative person and painting really allows me to get some of that out on canvas. Painting is also super relaxing, so it’s something I really want to do more of.

9. A little something nice!

I know it’s a bit premature, but I want to buy myself something nice to wear on my birthday this year. It’s only 4 weeks away and I know I might not have lost loads of weight by then, but I just want to walk into a bar or restaurant wearing something that makes me feel great. This is why I’ll really be hitting the gym hard this month and stick to my food plan. I think it’ll be a really nice boost for me to wear something cool on my birthday.

Aiming to change this attitude!

Well, that’s it Ladies & Gents….9 goals for November! I know it might sound like a lot, but they are all pretty much related to one another and none are too far-fetched. I genuinely think these are all achievable/do-able things. So, one month from today, I will report back with an update of how things went.

Excited! ๐Ÿ™‚

picture courtesy of http://www.someecards.com

A New Direction!

I’ve spent the last year trying to lose weight by going it on my own. I’ve discovered that it’s simply not possible – for me at least. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are loads of people out there that can set goals for themselves, put their minds to it and through will power and determination achieve them. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people.

Now, I’m not saying that I can’t achieve anything on my own, I just need help doing it. I’ve admitted to this on many occasions, but I struggle with will power and I never follow through with anything. I always choose to take the easy way out, because I get stuck when things get too difficult. I always end up making excuses and justify them not just to myself, but to others too. I always have to find a way of doing something that makes it as easy as possible and still allows me to achieve results. Basically, I try to find a way to squeeze something into my life without disrupting it too much…..I’m DONE with that! It doesn’t work.

Pretending only works for so long!

When I started this blog, my main aim was to lose weight and to achieve that through various lifestyle changes. Well, I have made a few changes, but none of them have really changed the way I think about my weight and I’ve just squeezed those changes into a lifestyle that isn’t conducive to weight loss. I then embarked on these changes with enthusiasm and excitement. However, at the end of the day, these changes weren’t enough to help me achieve my ultimate goal. I need to tackle this from a different angle!

Not too long ago, I had a good friend over for dinner. She’s been so supportive of me from the get go, but made a suggestion. Weight Watchers. I admit, I did flinch a little at the thought of joining. I’m not sure why….I suppose I always tried to convince myself that this was something I could achieve without going to group meetings and that I didn’t want to follow a specific eating plan, etc. I know it sounds crazy, but somehow I thought that by joining Weight Watchers, it would make all of this too real. I felt that it was proof that I wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own. Well, my friend asked me to at least think about it and I did. I thought about it for almost two weeks and I’ve decided to join.

At this point, I’m willing to try anything new. What have I got to lose, right? I wanted to put myself out there and get out of my comfort zone. So instead of joining the Online Weight Watchers option, I’ve chosen to join the meetings. It’ll force me into actual contact with others that feel the same way I do. I’m nervous, but excited at the same time! I’ve got my very first meeting tomorrow, so will let you know how it goes……All I can say at the moment is: Watch this space!

This might just be what ends up working for me! ๐Ÿ™‚

xxx

photo courtesy of http://www.someecards.com