Back to Square One.

Things are pretty hectic at the moment. I feel like I’m juggling too many balls and I’m struggling. I hope this doesn’t sound like an excuse, but in my personal life, I can only focus on one thing at a time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s the truth.

I was recently made redundant, so at the moment, my entire universe revolves around finding a new job. And I only have a month and a half to make it happen! I’m excited, but scared at the same time and I feel guilty whenever I’m not actively job hunting. Even if I’ve had a really long day, come home and just sit in front of the telly watching a programme, I feel guilty for not sending out my CV. I know that I have to give myself a break, but I can’t.

It’s all I can focus on at the moment and everything else has just fallen by the wayside. And I mean everything! I haven’t bothered following and planning an eating regime, and instead have been stuffing my face with everything in sight out of stress. I haven’t been to gym in weeks, because I come home from work and have to send out job applications!

As a result, I’ve managed to put back a stone in weight! I kid you not…..a bloody stone! I am so disappointed with myself, especially because I know exactly what I did (or didn’t do) to get back in this position. I just feel like my main priority is finding a new job and I just have no time for anything else.

I’m stressed out and frustrated and can’t stop stuffing my face. Especially with Christmas approaching, it’s really hard not to tuck into mince pies, extra vino and chocolates!

I just feel like I’m back to square one and it’s a little frustrating. It’s really hard for me to get back on track sometimes, so I hope I get a job soon an get this back on the right track!

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The horror, the horror…..

I just want to own up to something today. Some of my more eagle-eyed readers might have spotted that I (finally!) updated my Weigh In’s section last night. It’s been 4 months I’m ashamed to say and the number that greeted me came as quite a shock….

Through lack of exercise and general face-stuffing, I’ve managed to put on 5kg over the last 4 months. That’s 11lbs for all the non-metric systems peeps out there. 11lbs!! To say I was shocked would be a gross understatement.

So, in the spirit of transparency, I decided to tell you all the truth and be honest. I’ve got my gym induction session tonight, and it can’t come soon enough! It’s just a shame that I’ve gone and undone so much of my hard work….I wish there were two of me so that I could give myself a kick up the butt!

So, here’s to getting back into gym life…..and this picture says it all really:

Almost, but not quite………Heheheeee!!

xxx

picture courtesy of www.someecards.com

Stress + Frustration = :-(

The last two weeks have been super stressful for me. Without going into too much detail….I’ve got a super-duper important appointment coming up soon and it’s very important that it goes well. I’ve been really anxious about this for some time. I’ve been going over all my forms, etc. hoping that I have every thing in order. However, I think I’ve reached that point of calmness only obtained through knowing there’s nothing more I can do. It’s out of my hands now. Similar to studying for a test. You can only study so hard and then you either pass or fail and go from there.

Apologies for the rant, but I think I’m trying to justify why I haven’t written a post for a little while. I’ve been to pre-occupied with everything I’ve just mentioned, I just haven’t had any time/energy to condense my thought into a comprehensive post.

Besides the stress of the aforementioned appointment, I’ve been really frustrated with Weight Watchers. In the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t really gone to gym this last week, but I’ve been eating healthily. However, I’ve been putting on weight again! Now I know that to lose weight, healthy eating alone won’t cut it, but once I get this appointment out of the way, things will go back to normal at the gym.

Here’s the conundrum though….Over Christmas, I threw caution to the wind and indulged in all kinds of delicious food and more wine to mention. Over the whole of December I only picked up 1.5 pounds. I was prepared for a little bit of gain, so wasn’t too fussed. Then at the beginning of January (as promised), I went back to my usual healthy eating and I was caning it at the gym. So, I went for another weigh in, and in on week, I picked up 2 pounds!! HOW??

I don’t get it. I really don’t. How can living like a “slob” for a month end up with less of a weight gain than one week of gymming hard and eating healthy!?? It’s frustrating to say the least, and it makes me lose faith in the WW process.

Well, thanks for listening/reading……I’m sure things will be a lot better next week!

 

picture courtesy of http://www.someecards.com